Archive for July, 2011

When Do You Hurt Others Due to Positive Words?

Sunday, July 31st, 2011

Image by jah~ back, not 100% via Flickr

Although I’m a big proponent of using positive words as much as possible, I know sometimes negative words are just as important.

Why do you think that is?

How did the term ‘Terrible Twos” come about? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it regards children who are 2 years old. At that age children start to become somewhat independent. And they tend to do many things of which their parents and other adults disapprove.

When that occurs, they tell the child, emphatically, “No!” And the child hears “No!” over and over again as the days, weeks and months go by.

Those memories of hearing disapproval are embedded in the child’s mind where they most likely remain into their adulthood. For some people who unconsciously remember and feel the disapproval they heard as a child, I believe they crave approval.  So they do the opposite of what they felt when adults told them “No!”

They become “Yes” people. Anytime someone asks them for a favor, they quickly reply “Yes” or something like “Sure, I’ll be happy to do that.” They answer without considering possible consequences or priorities. And it’s not unusual for them to constantly stay busy with organizations and other commitments they make as volunteers.

When they over commit themselves, who suffers?

Are they so exhausted that they’re never at their best?

And does their exhaustion cause them to snap at their loved ones?

Do they spend enough time with their family and close friends?

Or do they neglect their loved ones to win the approval of as many people as they can?

How many people do they disappoint or hurt when they finally realize that they can’t do something they promised?

Have you ever had someone break a promise they made to you?

How did you feel when that happened?

Who do you know that fits the description I’ve given of a “Yes” person?

Is it you? Or someone you know?

Here’s the lesson. These are lyrics from my song, ‘The One Who Says No.’


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