Categories
Laws of Attraction

When Do You Hurt Others Due to Positive Words?

Words....
Image by jah~ back, not 100% via Flickr

Although I’m a big proponent of using positive words as much as possible, I know sometimes negative words are just as important.

Why do you think that is?

How did the term ‘Terrible Twos” come about? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it regards children who are 2 years old. At that age children start to become somewhat independent. And they tend to do many things of which their parents and other adults disapprove.

When that occurs, they tell the child, emphatically, “No!” And the child hears “No!” over and over again as the days, weeks and months go by.

Those memories of hearing disapproval are embedded in the child’s mind where they most likely remain into their adulthood. For some people who unconsciously remember and feel the disapproval they heard as a child, I believe they crave approval.  So they do the opposite of what they felt when adults told them “No!”

They become “Yes” people. Anytime someone asks them for a favor, they quickly reply “Yes” or something like “Sure, I’ll be happy to do that.” They answer without considering possible consequences or priorities. And it’s not unusual for them to constantly stay busy with organizations and other commitments they make as volunteers.

When they over commit themselves, who suffers?

Are they so exhausted that they’re never at their best?

And does their exhaustion cause them to snap at their loved ones?

Do they spend enough time with their family and close friends?

Or do they neglect their loved ones to win the approval of as many people as they can?

How many people do they disappoint or hurt when they finally realize that they can’t do something they promised?

Have you ever had someone break a promise they made to you?

How did you feel when that happened?

Who do you know that fits the description I’ve given of a “Yes” person?

Is it you? Or someone you know?

Here’s the lesson. These are lyrics from my song, ‘The One Who Says No.’

Although the song was inspired and written several years ago after I heard Mike Kemski telling how he overcame drug addiction, some of the lyrics are quite apropos for this article:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Just say no,
if it’s not good for you.
Just be strong.
To your own self be true.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Are you in the habit of always saying “Yes” whenever someone asks you for a favor?

Do you automatically say “Yes” before giving the consequences any thought?

Will you really be able to do what you’ve promised without hurting or disappointing someone because you make too many commitments?

Remember to use positive words most of the time, but not when they’ll end up hurting someone.

Till next time…

Wishing you peace, love and happiness,

Joyce Marie
Founder, LessonsFromLyrics.com

P.S.  A few months ago when I was pet-sitting a cat, instead of saying “No!” when the cat misbehaved, I tried a more positive approach…It worked! I’ll tell you that story another time.

Instead of telling children “No!” when you disapprove of their behavior, what could you do instead that would have a more positive effect on their lives as children and later on as adults?

I think it’s time to make some changes in the way most children are raised. Don’t you?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
To hear this post via Odiogo audio content reader, look just below the title of this post. Then click on listen now.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This post and lyrics are copyrighted. You are welcome to reblog or link to this post or to give a link to it, but may not otherwise use the contents of the post without written permission.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Disclosure:   Thank you for reading my posts. It’s my pleasure to deliver inspirational stories and lyrics to you free of charge. Please note that whenever you click the links on this website or click on product images and then purchase items, I may sometimes receive a referral commission. Your support in purchasing through these links enables me to help more people to create positive changes in their lives which will bring more peace to our planet.
I appreciate you for making a difference! 🙂

Enhanced by Zemanta

25 replies on “When Do You Hurt Others Due to Positive Words?”

I have not checked in here for some time since I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my daily bloglist.You deserve it my friend 🙂

It’s really rewarding to help people who are worthy, isn’t it, George? Thanks for your comment.

When you feel hurt with those positive words, it only shows the truth about it. And @Gerry if people are looking for your negative deeds, let them do it. Because there are times that they see things about you that you can’t see. In johari window, it is called blind self or simply unknown to self.

I feel we must help people who are worth of it. When I help somebody, I don’t expect them to return me the favor or load me gifts, but just some kind words of gratitude as thank you. And as far as children are concerned, instead of a direct ‘no’, we can also tell them that they will get the things, but later. A straight no may sometimes be too harsh.

Positive words can hurt. At times, we are not prepared to hear the truth that too from another person. In addition, we feel embarrassed that the other person has a particular opinion about us or that he noticed our weakness. We forget that its okay!

Positive words hurt? To be honest, yes they can, at least to me! I guess it is the truth that hurts most. When my wife tells me I should consider making a change in myself, it does feel hurt that she wants a change. But at the end of the day, that change is good for me and its nice of her to let me know. It hurts a little, but soon it leaves the essence of my wife’s true love for me.

Thank you, Gerry! With regard to your comment, here are my lyrics from Start A New Life:
“Learn from mistakes you make.
Repeat them not again.
Get far away
from where you’ve been!”

Hi Carlos, Isn’t it amazing how being a parent changes your view? Thanks for sharing!

Hi Julie, I believe many of us are guilty of being enablers. Thanks for your comment. Yes, teach a man to fish!

This reminds me of parents. When they scold we feel hurt, but later in life we realize that those were positive words and helped us learn and grow. Now when I am a parent, i know how pure my own parent’s intentions were

It is important to understand that sometimes doing someone a favor might not necessarily be doing them a favor. It is difficult to spot when you might be an enabler especially if you are being manipulated into it.

Like the old saying goes. Teach a man to fish!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.